This morning on the C train the dude next to me turned toward me and exhaled a long, foul and stale breath in my direction before exploding into coughs ONTO MY FACE. I turned away too late, and reluctant to give up my seat or react in an alarmist way, I stayed put and just seethed at his disregard for other people. Seething proceeded for ten more minutes, until he leaned over and squeezed out a long, sonorous and potent fart. Realizing this was not just an inconsiderate person but an ill-meaning one, I got up and quickly moved to standing near the doors. Now scowling, I looked over to find said person smirking at me, apparently proud of himself and his victory over me.
When I got to the office, I washed my face and downed a packet of Emergen-C. Even if I do catch whatever he shared with me, the worst part will be how he infected my sense of goodwill toward others.
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2 comments:
oh my god. this is by far the worst subway story i've ever heard, beating even the guy who jerked off into his hand and wiped his ejacuate on the poles!
you're the second person to award me this superlative today. it's not a comfort.
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